For over three decades Craft LifeStyle Management has supported families through death and dying. We offer comfort care for those transitioning from this earth to death and assist in healthy family reorganization after the death.
This is always an intensely emotional time. We urge patience, forgiveness and compassion along with open communication and acceptance during this time, and always.
Remember to also give yourself grace. You are not required to argue or feel bad for the decisions you have made for your loved one. In our experience, more times than not, the family member being the ‘worst’ has done the least.
If you are going through this process with a loved one and your family, know we care about you.
We are here to help in any way we possibly can. Contact – Craft Lifestyle Management (craftlifestylemgt.com)
10 Truths with Notes & Hints
- The way one learns about death and dying, or experiences it, affects how one reacts to it. Teaching or talking about these often-taboo subjects is helpful at any age. NOTE: Letting your loved ones know the way you’d like to experience the dying process is a gift. Share your wants and wishes aloud, or at a minimum in writing.
- No two family members approach the dying process, death or grief in the same manner. Some will embrace what is happening. Others simply cannot accept it. HINT: Sometimes it seems impossible to connect with and support one another because a family member’s behavior seems unrecognizable at the moment. Give one another space and allow emotions to settle. Avoid being verbally insulted or belittled because someone is not able to handle their own emotions at the moment. Typically, over time, all eventually return to their ‘normal’ selves.
- Family members who live out of the area often feel tremendous guilt about not being there to help. Others who live in the same community as the deceased may continue to allow their grudges and hurt to interfere with compassion and empathy. They may avoid the dying person altogether.
- It’s not unusual for the primary caretaker to resent other family members for “not carrying their weight” during this time.
- Support for one another is far superior to allowing tensions to drive you and your family apart during this difficult time. NOTE: It’s likely the wedges were present many years prior to a death in the family. This process only brought them to the forefront again.
- Stress of caretaking and grief impacts one’s immune system. HINT: It’s so important to take care of oneself while caring for others and grieving a loss.
- Death sometimes does bring out the worst in families. Sadly, some families fight over funeral arrangements, material possessions and money during the dying process and/or after a death, causing compounded grief and permanent separation. HINT: Keep in mind grief can cause reasonable people to sometimes act unreasonable, especially if they have guilt or unresolved issues with their dying family member. Practice a bit of patience and a lot of forgiveness. Consider that the best option may be to excuse yourself and walk away. Understand there may be too many emotions at the moment to sort through. Peace and calm always win.
- A child often steps in and takes the role of the deceased parent. Or, the siblings place the role of the deceased one on one of their siblings causing more stress and burden. Sometimes this is welcomed; other times it causes resentment in either situation. Be aware of this and do your best as a family to cope.
- Religious values and death rituals like graveside services or Christian Mass or service offer comfort and normalcy to grieving families. Schedule these, even if it seems nearly impossible to go through them. NOTE: Services and funerals are for the living. Pre-planning these takes so much stress and yes, fighting, off of loved ones. If this was not done, gather as a family. Allow each person to state what they think the deceased wanted. Letting each completely share their thoughts will bring some resolution between each sibling and all of the shared options. There will be some overlap that will help immensely in creating this sorrowful final plan.
10. There is absolutely NO timeline associated with grief. NOTE: This is so important to understand. One may immediately fall apart. Another may be stone cold. No one knows how they will react until they are in the situation. It is also true that you may react quite differently with each loved one who passes. Again, give yourself grace to handle your own journey and extend that grace to others as well.
As always, let us know how we can offer comfort or care to you and your loved ones. Contact – Craft Lifestyle Management (craftlifestylemgt.com)
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Peace be with you, always.
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